"A stress reaction occurs when the perceived demands of a situation exceed our perceived resources."
Class #4 Practices
5 mins of awareness to the room, to the breath and to sounds
Anchoring meditation - 8 mins
May 10 Class 4 - dealing with discomfort - 28 mins
Homework
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Practice the Attentional Focus or Awareness of Breathing meditation from above, or practice on your own without guidance. Anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes a day.
Research shows that even just 5 minutes of practice a day can bring more awareness, presence, and calm into your life.
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During the week, simply notice your stress reactions and behaviors without trying to change them. What do you notice? Do you feel stuck at times? Do you notice yourself blocking, numbing, or shutting down from the present moment?
Working With Discomfort During Meditation
It’s important to know that discomfort may arise during meditation.
It could be physical, like an itch, tension, restlessness, or soreness.
Or it could be emotional, like frustration, anxiety, boredom, or overwhelm.
None of this means you’re doing it wrong.
It simply means you’re noticing what’s already here.
When discomfort appears, there are a few different ways you can respond.
There is no single “right” choice.
Part of the practice is learning what feels supportive in the moment.
The first option is adjusting.
If your body needs to move, you can make a conscious adjustment.
Maybe you shift your posture, stretch your neck, or uncross your legs.
Rather than moving automatically, see if you can stay present for the movement itself.
Notice what it feels like to choose comfort with awareness.
The second option is turning gently toward the discomfort.
You might bring your attention to the area for a few breaths.
Not forcing.
Not fighting.
Just noticing.
What does the sensation actually feel like?
Is it tight, warm, sharp, heavy, buzzing, pulling?
Does it have a shape?
A texture?
Even a color?
You may also notice the mind reacting to the discomfort.
Sometimes the mind quickly creates a story:
“I can’t stand this.”
“This is too much.”
“This will never end.”
See if you can soften the story and come closer to the direct experience.
Instead of “I can’t stand this” maybe simply:
“This feels unpleasant.”
Then notice what happens next.
Many sensations change when we stay curious.
Sharp can become dull.
Hot can become cool.
Tightness can soften or move.
The third option is zooming out.
Rather than focusing only on the discomfort, widen your awareness to include the whole body.
The whole experience.
Notice that even when discomfort is present, not everything feels difficult at once.
Perhaps your shoulders feel tense, but your hands feel neutral.
Perhaps sadness is here, but so is the feeling of your breath moving gently in and out.
This practice can help us find a middle ground.
Not denying discomfort.
But not becoming completely consumed by it either.
And finally, sometimes the wisest choice is to move attention away.
You can rest your attention on something neutral or soothing.
The breath.
The sounds around you.
The feeling of your feet on the ground.
You do not have to force yourself to stay with something overwhelming.
Meditation is not about enduring pain to prove something.
You do not have to stare into the eye of the tiger without blinking.
Sometimes strength looks like staying.
Sometimes strength looks like gently stepping back.
Both can be acts of awareness.
As we continue the practice, simply notice what arises for you.
And afterward, you might reflect:
What did you notice?
How was it to explore discomfort with awareness?
Awareness of stress reactions
Mindfulness is kind of like turning the lights on inside yourself.
It helps you notice what you’re actually feeling, moment by moment, instead of running on autopilot.
Most of us have coping strategies we use without even realizing it.
Scrolling.
Staying busy.
Snacking.
Overthinking.
Avoiding.
Numbing out.
Not because we’re “bad” at emotions, but because feelings can be uncomfortable.
The interesting part?
Those coping habits can create blind spots.
They can keep us from noticing what’s really going on underneath the surface.
That’s where mindfulness comes in.
Through simple formal practices, like meditation, and informal ones, like pausing to notice your breath or body during the day, we slowly rebuild the mind-body connection.
And when that happens, we start understanding ourselves on a much deeper level.
Social scientist Brené Brown talks a lot about vulnerability and how many people struggle to truly feel their feelings.
She suggests that things like addiction, constant busyness, overspending, and emotional disconnection can sometimes be ways we “numb” ourselves to avoid vulnerability.
We numb. We are the most in-debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history. The problem is - and I learned this from the research - that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You can’t say, ‘Here’s the bad stuff. Here’s vulnerability, here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment. I don’t want to feel these.’ ... You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.
-Brené Brown
Vulnerability Avoidance: She refers to this as the "shield." We think we are protecting ourselves from pain, but her research suggests we are actually "disappointing ourselves" by cutting off the very emotions that make life meaningful.
The Connection: She notes that "Connection is why we're here; it's what gives purpose and meaning to our lives." By avoiding vulnerability, we inadvertently disconnect from others because we aren't showing up as our true selves.
https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o?si=8Gtl4E7Ff6-ZvkYa
The Physiology of Stress
Stress isn’t just something we think about, it’s something the body lives through. A difficult conversation, a painful memory, or even worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet can activate the same survival systems in the brain and body as physical danger. Within moments, the nervous system shifts into protection mode:
the heart beats faster,
muscles tighten,
breathing changes,
and stress hormones begin moving through the body.
This response was designed to help humans survive,
but in modern life, the body often reacts to emails, deadlines, conflict, and self-criticism as though they are immediate threats.
When we’re stressed, the brain naturally focuses more on danger and negativity.
Emotions can feel bigger,
reactions become quicker,
and it becomes harder to think clearly or stay grounded.
The mind may spiral into fear, frustration, or worst-case scenarios without us even realizing it. Understanding the physiology of stress can help us meet these experiences with more compassion. The body is not failing, it is trying to protect us,
even when the alarm is louder than the moment requires.
Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how the nervous system, especially the vagus nerve, influences the way we respond to stress, safety, and connection. The theory describes three main nervous system states:
- Ventral vagal: feeling safe, calm, and connected
- Sympathetic: fight, flight, anxiety, or stress responses
- Dorsal vagal: shutdown, numbness, or freeze responses
Understanding Polyvagal Theory can help us become more aware of how our bodies react in different situations. This awareness can support emotional regulation, strengthen relationships, and improve overall wellbeing.
The Polyvagal Chart is a visual tool designed to help you identify and understand these three nervous system states. By recognizing the signs of feeling connected, stressed, or shut down, you can begin to better understand your emotions, reactions, and the pathways back to a sense of calm and safety.
Walking Meditation
Mindful movement (same as walking meditation from last week) is a gentle way to reconnect with yourself. it invites you to slow down, breathe a little deeper, and return to the present moment.
When life feels overwhelming, restless, or mentally noisy, these practices can help soften tension in the body and create a quiet sense of calm. Every step becomes a chance to come back to yourself with kindness and intention.
Choose Your Path - Find a quiet place where you can walk slowly without distractions, indoors or outdoors. A short path, around 10 to 15 paces, is perfect. Simply walk back and forth at your own pace.
Begin With Awareness - Before you start walking, pause for a moment. Feel your feet on the ground. Notice the sensations in your legs, your breath, and the way your body feels right now.
Walk Slowly And Mindfully - Begin to walk gently and with intention. Bring your attention to each movement of your feet, lifting, moving, and placing them back down. Let yourself fully experience each step.
Pause And Turn - When you reach the end of your path, pause for a breath or two. Turn around slowly, then continue walking with the same calm awareness.
Find Your Natural Rhythm - Move at a pace that helps you feel connected and present. Often, slowing down helps the mind become quieter too.
Come Back Gently - If your thoughts begin to wander, that’s okay. Simply guide your attention back to your body, your breath, or the feeling of your feet touching the ground.
You may find it soothing to match your breath to your steps or silently repeat a calming phrase as you walk, such as:
“I am here.”
“At ease.”
“One step at a time.”
There is no perfect way to do this.
The practice is simply about being present, one mindful step at a time.